waking up; the first shift
It all starts with a punch, a superpowered punch, straight to the face.

It's not at all anything that you expect, and you're stuck with such anger (her punching you in the face, and then your feelings on the matter) that you get defensive. You get up and leave, because honestly, if this was how it was going to go, then what was the point? With your headache growing stronger, you storm out of her place and go back to your own, trying to ignore the feeling of a wounded pride that you're feeling.

Because really, things had turned so fast, first you were kissing, and then she was angry and punching you to the ground, and was that really how things were going to go? You knew people could grow tired of people, you had of course been like that yourself from time to time. But something so sudden? It hurt. It actually hurt more than you were willing to admit, and so you sucked it up. You went home, you took Advil, and you passed out.

When you woke up, the headache was still there, and it was only getting worse. Feeling off just wasn't something that you did, it wasn't something that you were used to, and why would you be? You are always on top of your game; running a major multi-billion dollar corporation meant you always needed to be on. And you always are.

Except for right now.

Right now, you just have this desire to get out of your current surroundings. Which, just happen to be your home, but it's not good enough. You want to go where you can just focus on figuring things out, though you're not sure what there is to figure out. So you head to a hotel. Rent out the penthouse suite for the week with just a smile and the flash of your black card, and as always, doors always open for Xander Charleson, but you're not really feeling like yourself.

This leads to drinking in the hotel bar, it leads to inviting someone unexpected to drink with you, and it leads to going to your penthouse for conversation and temptation, but nothing more that idle chatter. It's the argument in the morning, and yelling out her name at her, that you realize what is going on. That a familiar name is suddenly on the front of your mind. Alexander Luthor. Lex. The realization hits, and your eyes go wide and you run from the penthouse and out of the hotel, into the streets to get some air.

From there, it's trying to figure things out. Trying to get information. Trying to deal with those who recognize him (or is it you now?) and immediately judging and thinking the worst of you (him), because not many remember that you've tried to turn for the better. That you've actually taken up the role of "Superman" (of course never actually replacing the true man himself, you're not dumb enough to do that), but that doesn't seem to matter. All people remember are the past deeds that you've tried to correct over and over again.

Perhaps some things are not worth trying to fix. That you need to only live for yourself.

But both sides of you are fighting now, you're a war between two highly intelligent men, both fighting for the forefront but Lex is stronger than Xander at the moment. And it's not until later in the week, that Xander takes front, and you try your best to figure things out.

But it ends up in hurt that you won't admit to once again, and this side of you completely closes down as the other side of you prepares to go to a gala, and escape to warmer climates after. There's a helicopter waiting, and you've got a persona to uphold. A billionaire genius, who is prone to extravagant vacations at a moments notice.

So it's time to play it up. Things are confusing. They'll only get worse. Maybe they will. Most likely they will. You're not foolish enough not to think that, just as you're not foolish enough to believe the reason the news is giving for the weather. You've been around super-powered people your entire life. You've fought against super-powered people your entire life. Once again, you're finding yourself wondering if maybe it's time for the powerless to overthrow the powerful.

Because as a very unlikely (yet somehow welcomed) ally mentioned this week, "The term hero is thrown around so loosely around here". It's true. And the ties that both sides of you have to her do not go unnoticed. Just as the ties to the other woman who had started the week off with a literal bang (or punch, as it were) didn't go unnoticed. Things are complicated, and yet things somehow stay the same.

Perhaps then, this can be twisted to your advantage.

You're told to leave notes. You're told to try to help both sides of yourself. You're told to try to come to terms, and not make things awful for when one side of you is no longer around.

The advice falls on mostly deaf ears. There's no way you're leaving Xander notes. There's no way you're helping Xander. That side is a fool and doesn't now what he's missing.

And that's an advantage that you're going to play up to the fullest, now that one thing has become clear.

You will always be your past. No matter how much you try to change. Might as well own it.